Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
