Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
