...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
