do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
