I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
