no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
