His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
