sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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