It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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