Need sex. Gaining weight.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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