need another drink. this is the easiest way
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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