Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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