I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
