Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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