Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
