you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
