I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
