please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
As shirtless as possible
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
