After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm sobbing to NWA
Randomize
