Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
