Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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