I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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