you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Randomize
