Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
