Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
