Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
It's official drugs can't kill me
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
