and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
