no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
