Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
