oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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