I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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