I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i barfeds in our rink
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize
