My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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