She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
