Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
