Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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