You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
