VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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