How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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