i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I came so hard my ears popped.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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