I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
