I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
