Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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