apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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