I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
