I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
