I hate your face
home. puking in laundry basket.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
