the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
