Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
