My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
