ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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