im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
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