K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize