You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
