Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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