He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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