I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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