I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
